I’ve been meaning to write this post all day. I’ve gone through it in my head, what I’ve wanted to get across as a message but I still can’t find the right way of writing it down.. However I am just going to continue to type words and by the end of this post, maybe somewhere along the way it will make sense.
Anyone who knows me, knows I’m competitive. Competitive by definition: “As good as or better than others of a comparable nature.” In some instances, I find this to be a good thing. A healthy bit of competition never hurt anyone and it can push you to be a better version of yourself. However, when that competitiveness becomes more prominent, does that become unhealthy for oneself? In relation to my world and the way I live; and more specifically, the way I train at the gym, I only have one answer. Yes it does.
Let me put it into perspective. I have no problem with someone lifting heavier weights than me or running double the distance I can run. That is great for them, sincerely. They probably have been working much longer (or harder) at their goals than me or their goals are simply different to mine However, when I find someone at a similar capability to myself and we are working out on the same things, I want to beat them. I don’t think about being competitive, it literally just runs through my brain, like second nature. I must be better, faster or lift heavier than them, otherwise I am a complete disappointment to myself. Even while I type this, that sounds like the biggest load of bullshit and so cocky, that I even am surprised at myself. So my issue is, I try compete against others, when we can all see, my only competition should be against myself. I don’t know where they have come from, what has inspired them to work out or why they continue to do what they’re doing. I definitely don’t judge them or their skills, but I just want to be better. Better than what? I don’t know their story so what do I have to compare?
These thoughts were triggered by something that came up this morning in the boot camp session I attended. It took me longer to complete the workouts than everyone else. Not only did I not take into account our weights are different, our strengths and weaknesses are different but our bodies are also completely different. Just because it takes longer, doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong. I can’t do push ups from my hands due to a wrist problem (can’t bend one wrist to 90 degrees with pressure) so I have to do everything from my knuckles. That is just harder in itself. With my dodgy hip flexor, I can’t squat as deep or quick and I certainly can’t do the same sit ups or core movements.
It is literally my brain playing tricks on me and I let it get to me. It does affect my training. I need to retrain my brain into thinking about my only real competition at the gym and in my training; myself.
Stop worrying about what others are doing and focus on what you are doing and how you can make the “today” you, into a better “tomorrow” you.
La Love,
C. xx
