Self Belief.
By definition: Trust in your own abilities
Self Doubt.
By definition: A feeling of having no confidence in your abilities and decisions
I know at one point in my life, I used to have huge amount of self belief. It even got to the point where I used to ask for harder tasks and homework because I knew I was capable of achieving more than what I was already doing. If I believed in myself then why am I now constantly asking the same questions?
What has changed within myself? Why do I doubt my own ability?
It’s a question many people ask themselves every day. The next question should “How can I flip this doubt into belief?” which is exactly the question I have asked myself over the last two days. I cannot assign a date to where I stopped believing in myself but I know it has to change. I know there are many people in my life that believe in me and wonder why I now question myself.
When I looked up the symptoms of self doubt, I did assign a few with myself:
* Fear
* Perfectionism
*Second guessing myself
*Lack of achievement
But when I looked at the causes of self doubt, I couldn’t truly assign any to myself because they didn’t fit “wholey” to myself.
WELL… IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE AND I WILL CONQUER THIS.
Newly found belief in myself happened on Sunday night when I decided to go for a walk. I was meeting a friend of mine and he had been told to meet him somewhere else than where we normally meet. I decided to give jogging a go as I was feeling good and thought “I’ll just see how far I can get.” Normally, I would get half way and give im because I was too tired, but I shouted at myelf (actually out loud too!) do not give up, keep going. I jogged the entire way. I was SO happy for myself and my friend could see it. I was “radiating” happiness like the sun radiates heat. He was so happy that I was so happy right at that moment. I knew he believed I could do it and now I could say I had done it.
Self belief moment #1 accomplished.
But wait… There is a more. 😀
I got home from having such a wonderful evening, that I found myself asking, “Could it be possible that I could do it again?” Monday evening after work, I found myself in the same situation. Wanting to run outside in the sun and not cooped up inside on my treadmill. I sent a text to my friend but he was busy. I could have easily said, “Oh ok, I’ll just use my treadmill, nevermind.” but I though, “No, I am going to do this and I WILL at least make it as far as I did yesterday, if not further.” I put on my favourite shorts and tied my laces and pumped myself and Keith {Urban} up and just jogged. I didn’t worry about the world and if I looked fat. I didn’t look too far ahead of myself and just keep a steady pace and said over and over (in my head and out loud) “You can do this, you’re over half way, the finish is just over this hill” and I jogged not only what I had the day before, but the entire way, right from where I started. In a nutshell, I was ecstatic. I’d said to my buddy that I’d text him my result. This is what it said. “I jogged the whole way. F**k yes.” He told me later on that night that he was so proud of me and I couldn’t help but beam at his words.
Self belief moment #2 accomplished.
Even over the past 24 hours, I started something that I have never done before and I was pretty chuffed with the response I got. Okay, it’s not breathtaking or groundbreaking BUT yesterday I helped out my friend Luke at his small restaurant on Mt. Macedon called Top of the Range Tearooms. I was basically the barista’s assistant all day and if you had asked me on Sunday to carry a tray full of coffees without spilling it, I would have gone back to the “doubting Thomas” (well, Candice) and said I couldn’t. After doing it for 6 hours yesterday, I’d say for my first attempt, I did great! I managed to only slightly spill one glass of wine and it wasn’t even a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was something I would like doing but I gave it a crack and both Luke and Brent said I did a fantastic job for my first time. I’ll only get better right? 🙂
I haven’t been so proud of myself in a very long time. I know this is the turning point in my life to turn that doubt into belief. Self belief is a wonderful thing and I hope that if I continue to believe in myself, my happiness with life will improve. It’s like killing two birds with one stone, hey?
C. x
CANDICE ASHLEY 